Shifting our relationship with hard things

There is a part of me that dreads the quieter, colder, and darker months of Winter.

Now, let me practice self-compassion to make space for this part of me that “dreads” Winter.

First, I’ll hold this “dread” with compassionate awareness, giving myself the opportunity to get to know it and understand it better by feeling into it. I notice it shows up as a slight heaviness on my chest or shoulders.

I then consider that my body is wise and intelligent and ask the question: How does it make sense that this dread would show up in the winter?

And this question reminds me that it makes sense for this “dread” to be here for me, as a highly sensitive person I’m more sensitive to changes in seasons, weather, and amount of daylight. This understanding helps me validate my dread, it makes sense this dread is here. 

Second, I can invite myself to contemplate what could prevent or alleviate this suffering: What can help me better flow with the slower, colder, and darker rhythms of Winter? Letting this question linger in my mind, I can invite myself to stay open with compassionate awareness while listening to any answers my body might provide. 

Beyond listening to my body, I can also look externally for other sources of inspiration that might support me in preventing or alleviating this suffering, such as Hyggee: a feeling of coziness and contentment and enjoying the simple things in life.

And slowly, practicing self-compassion, I see the possibility of transforming my relationship with something hard, like the dread of Winter. I move into a space of possibility where I can invite myself to take courageous, compassionate action to soothe this “dread” part. 

I can intentionally and compassionately invite the part of me that dreads Winter to notice more and more the joy that is possible during Winter. 

These practices will help me: 

• Continue to practice self-compassion and use this Compassionate Phrase: May I open to the possibility of welcoming Winter with an open heart, willing to get to know all the moments of JOY available.  

• Practice gratitude by asking this question: What am I grateful for right now about Winter? 

• Lean into aliveness by noticing when/where do I feel ALIVE in the winter? How can I welcome more moments of ALIVENESS into my Winter?

You can use this self-compassion practice to help you make space for something hard, offer it compassion, and find ways to help prevent or alleviate the challenge. 

Here’s to practicing and growing together!